'Brace yourself, dear reader': Mike Johnson 'bombshell' rocks political world

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, R-La. (Video screenshot)
Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, R-La. (Video screenshot)

U.S. House Speaker Mike Johnson, who has publicly affirmed his Christian faith and the fact it influences his life, has been a target for scandal-hunting leftists ever since his election just weeks ago.

And Rolling Stone now has succeeded in finding … well, something.

Its bombshell confirms that Johnson doesn’t watch porn.

A report at RedState.com turned sarcastic from the first word, documenting the “bombshell,” with, “Brace yourself, dear reader. Rolling Stone magazine has published a bombshell report exposing newly-minted House Speaker Mike Johnson, R-LA., for – not watching pornography.

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“That’s right, folks. In this latest episode of ‘Let’s Get Outraged Over Silliness,’ the alleged news outlet published a piece detailing how he and his son keep each other accountable for the material they view on the internet.”

In fact, a video on X, formerly Twitter, features Johnson on a church stage with a panel explaining how an accountability program can monitor what he watches, and then report it to an accountability partner, his son.

The program he uses is called Covenant Eyes, which has been promoted over the years by Promise Keepers, an organization that started out with massive stadium rallies to tell men about Jesus Christ – and hold them accountable for their actions.

RedState explained, “During a conversation on the ‘War on Technology’ at Benton, Louisiana’s Cypress Baptist Church — unearthed by X user Receipt Maven last week — the Louisiana representative talked about how he installed ‘accountability software’ called Covenant Eyes on his devices in order to abstain from internet porn and other unsavory websites.”

Johnson explained, “If anything objectionable comes up, your accountability partner gets an immediate notice. I’m proud to tell ya, my son has got a clean slate.”

RedState still has sarcasm to spare, explaining, “After this earth-shattering revelation, which was the result of some hard-hitting journalism on Rolling Stone’s part, the world now knows that Johnson does not watch porn, which is a likely disappointment to folks on the left who would relish the opportunity to use something of this nature to smear him.

“Instead, they are forced to criticize him for not watching pornography, which makes about as much sense as putting water in an ink pen.”

The report explained the situation is similar to the inability of the left and the media to deal with former Vice President Mike Pence’s rules for marriage.

“When it was revealed that he takes certain steps, such as refusing to dine alone with a woman who is not his wife and other idiosyncrasies, Democrats had an utter meltdown, looking for ways to use it against him.”

And it continued, “At this point, if the left wants to damage Johnson, they should probably come up with something better than ‘Waaaah he doesn’t watch porn!'”

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