Editor’s note: The powers that be at WND.com have told Michael Ackley he may submit an occasional column. As Golden State madness has accelerated, Mr. Ackley has succumbed to the urge to get back in the game. Hence, the items below. Remember that his columns may include satire and parody based on current events, and thus mix fact with fiction. He assumes informed readers will be able to tell the difference.
Howard Bashford was perplexed. He said, “As I read the words ‘Disinformation Governance Board,’ I instantly thought, ‘Ministry of Truth.’
“But I learned that the idea was not my own. It had been planted in my brain by a sinister, right-wing ‘influencer.'”
We assured Howard that this was foolish and that everybody who had read George Orwell’s “1984” had the same reaction.
Howard replied, “But Taylor Lorenz, a columnist at the Washington Post, says ‘tweets’ from a guy I never heard of ‘shaped the narrative.'”
“Howard,” we said soothingly, “do you use Twitter?”
He answered “no,” but said, “The columnist also explained that the Disinformation Governance Board would have provided benign guidance for ‘best practices in combating the harmful effects of disinformation’ and helped the Department of Homeland Security ‘counter viral lies and propaganda that could threaten domestic security.'”
“Did she also write that ignorance is strength?” we asked, quoting one of the great slogans of “1984’s” Big Brother.
“No,” said Howard, “but I guess that would have fit right in.”
Students at the University of California at Davis have put their mascot, Gunrock the Mustang, out to pasture. In the pony’s place they have installed Aggie the Cow.
Leading the anti-equine “moo-vement” was Mick Hashimoto, who said the horse mascot – named for a real-life thoroughbred – didn’t represent “any part of our school.” Horse racing represented the “old elite.”
Couldn’t they have avoided the controversy by simply declaring that Gunrock identified as bovine?
San Francisco’s famed “Bay to Breakers” road race long has featured awards for male and female competitors.
At last, however, the organizers have recognized this basic unfairness. They declared that, from now on, “… we will be issuing awards in the non-binary category, mirroring that of our female and male categories.”
But does this mean just one kind of non-binary? There are so many.
The soul of wit: To get on the ballot and run for governor of California, one must pay $4,371.12 or, in lieu of cash, collect 4,750 signatures from eligible voters.
Candidates may compose a statement for the voter information guide, not to exceed 250 words. The catch is, placing the statement in the voter’s booklet will cost you $25 per word.
This year, the Golden State’s primary election ballot bears the names of 26 individuals who aspire to the governorship .Of these, 14 scraped together a few bucks to file candidates’ statements.
And of these, independent Mariana B. Dawson excelled all others in verbal frugality. She spent just $75 to summarize her platform: “F all politicians.”
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