Miss Information, meet Mr. Information

We all hear a lot from Miss Information these days, but whatever happened to Mr. Information? As the old expression goes, “It takes two to tango.”

Miss Information is everywhere we look! It used to be that Miss Information consorted only with upper crust (very lightly browned, please) liberals with fancy degrees from highbrow institutions of “higher education.” (I suspect the phrase “higher education” was born, along with a lot of us, in the – puff, puff – 1960s.)

Can there really only be one Mr. Information? Was it Walter Cronkite? Tell me the truth, please! I have to know! Uncle Walt never looked like he consorted with a host of Miss Informations. Could it really be that she was what was behind his nightly signoff of, “And that’s the way it is.”

Notice the timing here. If you wanted the real news that we all cared about back then, later that night you clicked on Johnny Carson and “The Tonight Show.” The kiddies were safely in bed, asleep (they didn’t have cellphone chips embedded in their brains then). Late night television was where the news of who was doing what to whom in Hollywood seeped out between the lines. If you wanted the local scoop, all you had to do was visit the water cooler the next day, at work. That source had instant credibility, and everyone knew who exaggerated and embellished their stories.

In a sense, even back then, Uncle Walt told us what the narrative was, and Johnny Carson and his many personas cued us into what was really happening, especially in star-studded Hollywood. If you wanted even more, there were those magazines and newspapers shouting their headlines to you at the grocery store checkout line.

To frame it for today’s readers, Uncle Walt and his peers on a few other television networks gave us the government line on things, but Johnny and his personas told us what was really going on.

These days, television programming has gone the way of the black and white television screen itself. I have no idea what’s on TV, because I haven’t had one in many moons. Rather than worrying if Miss Information is hiding behind the set somewhere, I prefer to search out the matter myself. If you look for the original source, you will oftentimes brush up against Miss Information, hiding behind a convenient filing cabinet. Other times she will just whisper sweet little lies into your ear. Her biggest lie is, “You can trust me!”

What we have today – or did have in the era before Big Tech decided we could be reprogrammed at their will, just like their latest silicon wafers – is social media. This is kind of like the Johnny Carson show without Johnny. The host won’t be here tonight? Don’t worry! “Would anyone from the audience like to give it a try?” What could possibly go wrong? If the first star-to-be fumbles badly, somebody else will step up to the stage. There are an endless supply of human beings who need their egos stroked by others. Maybe they are Miss Informations, in training.

Today, much of social media is fake. It consists of Russia collusion bots that never got the word Trump left office after his term ended and still drone on with the latest party line (God bad, Satan good, borders must be porous). The problem is, we don’t know which part of what we see before us is fake, or who faked it. The “who faked it” part is really important. Big Tech knows perfectly well which accounts are fake, but they rarely do anything about it. Why? Do they like their news fake?

Being cowards themselves, Big Tech is all too happy to let Miss Information speak for them under cover of being part of the government. Because, as we all know, the government would never lie to us. Not about anything. Not the Kennedy assassination. Not the Vietnam War. Not 9/11. Not the border. Not an election. Not even an endemic pandemic.

I mean, why would the government lie to us? Why would they spend trillions of dollars of our borrowed money, for projects we never see and then require that we spend our lives paying it back with comfortable interest payments for the wealthy few who enjoy a constant stream of our lifeblood for generations out into the future? Why would they demand more trillions to alleviate climate change, when the climate has always changed and always will? What possible reason do they have to lie to us?

Still, I don’t like it that Miss Information is blamed for all the falsehoods in the world, while Mr. Information gets a free pass. Maybe Mr. Information works for the government, and Miss Information works for the media. Wouldn’t that be convenient? They could consort together, right out in the open under our noses, and she’s the only one who gets called out over their affair.

No, there have to be more Mr. Informations out there. Maybe they work in our intelligence agencies. Maybe their existence is secret. Maybe they are space aliens. Maybe they are illegal aliens. Maybe they are advisers to key government officials. Maybe some of them even advise the president, when he has a lucid day. Is that why so many Miss Informations hang out in government and media, waiting for Mr. Right?

As you can see, Miss and Mr. Information are a complex couple, and a very prolific one. With so many Mr. Informations inseminating so many Miss Informations, their illegitimate offspring will only spread, until a great flood of lies covers the entire earth, and the people live in deep darkness. I hope that never happens to us!

“And that’s the way it is,” Armageddon Story, Earth’s Final Kingdom

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