Seth Rich, Harvey Weinstein and Donald Trump walk into a bar …

Seth Rich, Harvey Weinstein and Donald Trump walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says to Trump, “We don’t serve your kind here.” Trump replies, “What kind is that?” The bartender says, “the kind with Hillary Clinton monogrammed steak knives buried in their backs.”

So Trump says, “There’s no Hillary Clinton monogrammed steak knives buried in MY back.” “Wrong again, Orange Man,” gloats AOC, sitting nearby. “They’re in all the people who HAD your back on J6.”

America has never produced a wicked witch quite so vile and vindictive as Hillary Clinton (though many come close). Nobody knows that better than Donald Trump, whose second term in the White House was stolen from him and given to Clinton-team water-boy Joe Biden, under the day-to-day control of the Obama-team’s Susan Rice. In reality these top-strata elites are just one big team, and Hillary isn’t the one at the very top of the power pyramid. But among those of the female persuasion (by birth, I mean), Hillary Clinton is the top DOG, if you catch my drift (rhymes with “witch,” if you don’t).

Despite the best efforts of the enemy-of-the-people media, it is all but common knowledge these days that the Russian Collusion hoax was Hillary’s revenge for The Donald “stealing” her final shot at the presidency: her long awaited, desperately coveted quid-pro-quo for bowing to the demand of Democratic patriarch Ted Kennedy (from his deathbed) that she step aside for Obama in 2008. Like so many women in the “man’s world” of politics have always done, she grudgingly put on her best fake smile and accepted a lesser role as secretary of state, and maximized her time bribing, extorting and money laundering to fill her political “hope chest,” aka the criminal operation called the Clinton Foundation she runs in partnership with Monica’s boyfriend (her other “women’s lot in life” cross to bear).

Poor Hillary. So much pain, buried so deep, but soon all would be made right when she – on behalf of all women everywhere – would finally shatter the ultimate glass ceiling and take her rightful place as Queen of the World – like Tolkien’s Galadriel with the “one ring” of power:

“And now at last it comes [dreams Hillary]. You will give me the Ring freely! [by popular election of the American people!]. In place of the Dark Lord [Obama] you will set up a Queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair!'”

But, alas, on election night 2016 (elections were still being decided on election day then), the unthinkable happened.

Hillary was beyond apoplectic – she was infuriated past the bounds of sanity. Her rage, so often murderous in her long climb to power (dragging her horn-dog, obligatory alpha-male escort up each torturous rung – pretending always to sit second chair – walking the necessary half-step behind him – always summoning from deep within herself an Amazonian strength to fix him with an adoring gaze whenever the cameras were rolling) reached new extremes.

Her enemies must pay!

Enemy No. 1 was not, surprisingly, Donald Trump. It was Seth Rich, because he was the Benedict Arnold of the Army of the Dems – the one who (I am convinced) ratted her out to WikiLeaks and created the fatal email-scandal that she never really recovered from. Ironically, “Bernie Bot” Seth Rich was (I am convinced) seeking revenge on Hillary for her seriously dirty tricks against the Bern-Meister in the 2016 Democratic primary. (Remember that charnel-house chapter of the internal Democrat civil war? Wow!)

Technically, Seth Rich was murdered on July 10, 2016, four months before the election, but the sin for which he was struck down did not bear its ultimate fruit until Nov. 3. Rich’s murder (to use the satirical term I invented during law school) was an act of “anticipatory retaliation” on Hillary’s part (allegedly).

Enemy No. 2 was Donald Trump, of course, and enough has been written on that sordid saga to fill the interconnected Clinton, Bush and Obama presidential libraries twice over – if they weren’t already filled with “stolen” documents the National Archives legal department deems too insignificant to dispute. (I seem to recall reading a piece reporting that Hillary actively lobbied the National Archives to go after Trump at Mar a Lago but can’t find it again now that the Google monopoly has improved its system for burying news story searches it doesn’t like.) In any case, I believe it’s still Hillary’s team running the State Department (while Obama runs the Executive), so whatever Clinton-affecting actions Blinken, Wray and Garland take can be assumed to be Hillary’s will.

Enemy No. 3 is, of course, former Clinton pal Harvey Weinstein, who, like Seth Rich, forsook Hillary for Bernie, undermining her support among the super-important Hollywood power-brokers at a critical time in the 2016 election cycle.

Now, in my reading of the conspiratorial tea leaves, Weinstein was by far the most difficult to hit. Seth Rich was a nobody. Donald Trump was universally reviled by everyone who mattered (in Hillary’s world). But Harvey was a horse of a different color. If the Hollywood left was to wake up to find his severed head in their bed, the means of putting it there had to be unstoppable, the fact that it happened had to be un-lamentable, AND the shot-caller who called it had to be unmistakable (to elite insiders only). It would not be the first time Clinton-angering heads would roll, so to speak, as a message to the entire criminal underworld. Just ask Ron Brown and the survivors of Mena, Arkansas.

The means was exposing Harvey as a serial sexual predator (which everyone who mattered had known about and tolerated for decades). The hit squad was the Hillary-controlled “MeToo” movement – the pink-bereted special-forces brigade of the vast army of angry feminists uniformed in “I’m With Her” T-shirts (the backbone of the Hillary for President campaign). Once outraged radical feminism collectively rose up on behalf of their sexually victimized sisters, the “everybody-does-it” nod and wink rationalization for Hollywood’s culture of “transactional sex” collapsed like the proverbial House of Cards (which, not accidentally, was the likely reason Kevin Spacey followed Weinstein to the (boys) MeToo guillotine – Hillary presumably didn’t like how she was portrayed in his TV series of that name). Given those facts, no one but his closest friends could publicly defend Harvey or lament his takedown.

And, of course, everyone who mattered knew it was Hillary who did it, as now do the Hillary-designated “Deplorables” (at least as many as read and believe my conspiracy theory/aka brilliant analysis). It’s not really a joking matter, but I hope to share with all of you the “last laugh” when we finally, some day, “lock her up!”

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