No, the feckless Obama is not pulling Biden's strings

On Tuesday of this week, fresh after joining Eli and Peyton Manning in their broadcast of the Bears-Patriots game, former President Barack Obama sent out an urgent tweet to his youthful would-be followers.

“Young people have the power to change the direction of our country by voting in this election,” Obama tweeted. “Climate change, reproductive rights, gun safety – all the issues you care about are on the ballot.”

With nuclear war pending in the Ukraine, with fentanyl flowing across the border like taco sauce, with inflation chewing up what little money young Obama followers bother to make and with the body count mounting in America’s crime-ridden cities more predictably than in the Ukraine’s, Obama sounds about as serious as a character on “Seinfeld,” a show famously about nothing.

Worse, Obama cannot even call his nothing burgers by name. Obama and his allies discreetly abandoned the more tangible “global warming” when the globe stopped warming in any tangible way about 15 years ago.

Besides, with Obama owning one beachfront mansion on the illegal-alien “sanctuary” called Martha’s Vineyard and another under construction in Hawaii, his 8-by-10 glossy does not likely have a home on the wall of Greta Thunberg’s tiny Stockholm bedroom.

Talk of abortion being notoriously above Obama’s “pay grade,” he and his allies switched to the euphemism “reproductive rights.”

They did so even though no one has attempted to block a woman’s right to reproduce since Hitler gave Margaret Sanger’s brand of eugenics a bad name.

The real laugher, though, is “gun safety.” As a one-time NRA rifle instructor at a Boy Scout camp, I know something about gun safety. We taught it to our happy little campers until it made them unhappy. “Stop! Please! We get it!”

We never stopped. We drilled gun safety into their little skulls until it came out their ears. Our guys were so well-trained that the woodchucks waddled across the range with impunity. Not a one of them, kid or woodchuck, met his maker the whole time I ran the show.

I have heard they teach safe sex with condoms and bananas, but to teach gun safety, pointing a stick at a tree and saying “pow” just doesn’t cut it. You really do need guns, Barry. Find a better euphemism.

Of course, Obama doesn’t mean “gun safety.” Everyone gets it. He means gun control. He doesn’t care about that either. The voters of Chicago learned about Obama’s fecklessness during his stillborn run for Congress in 2000.

Shortly after Christmas 1999, Obama missed a critical vote on the “Safe Neighborhoods Act,” a gun control measure in the Illinois State Senate.

His opponents, Rep. Bobby Rush and fellow state Sen. Donne Trotter, promptly let voters know that Obama had abandoned Chicago in its hour of need.

Rush, a former Black Panther, zeroed in on Obama’s insincerity. “He went to Harvard and became an educated fool,” said Rush. “Barack is a person who read about the civil-rights protests and thinks he knows all about it.”

What made the missed vote so awkward for Obama was that while the governor desperately tried to find him, he was doing some holoholo time in the Aloha State.

When contacted by the community newspaper, Obama swore that he intended to be in Springfield for the special session, but his “18-month-old daughter had a bad cold,” and he “determined it was too difficult to make a nine-hour flight.”

To lay out his alibi Obama wrote a column for the paper titled, “Family duties took precedence.” As maudlin and misleading as the column was, he might as well have titled it, “How Checkers ate my homework.”

To undo the narrative laid down by his opponents, Obama had to create a counter-narrative that positioned him not as a political dilettante, but as the very incarnation of responsible fatherhood.

To make this plot line work, Obama would ground his alibi in a foundation of half-truths and flat out lies. As to the first issue, why he went to Hawaii on this “extremely short trip,” Obama claimed, “Our visit is the only means to assure my grandmother does not spend the holidays alone.”

To account for his grandmother not coming to Chicago, Obama endowed her with a “variety of ailments.”

As to the second issue, why he stayed once the vote was scheduled, Obama sensed correctly that “ten-footers on the North Shore” would not impress the brethren on the South Side.

So he cited once again the illness of baby Malia, now elevating her “cold” to a “flu.” This was a necessary adjustment to explain why Michelle could not have stayed with the baby.

After all, how could he possibly leave “without knowing the seriousness of the baby’s condition,” and a “cold” met no standard of seriousness, certainly not in the hood.

“We hear a lot to talk (sic) from politicians about the importance of family values,” Obama pontificated at saga’s end. “Hopefully, you will try to understand when your state senator tries to live up to those values as best he can.”

If no one else did, the white elite in Hyde Park bought Barry’s BS. Obama got the majority of white votes.

But the sisters and brothers of the South Side weren’t buying his wolf tickets. Despite the white support, Obama secured only 30% of the votes district-wide. Michelle almost left him over this debacle.

So, yeah, although immersed in leftism from aqua tots on, he never left the shallow end of the pool. He proved so adept at breaking promises because he didn’t care deeply enough to ensure they were kept.

He is not a serious man, never was. And although I don’t know who’s pulling Biden’s strings, I would bet my house against your mailbox that it’s not Barack Obama.

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