The Trump trial in New York is winding down, and along with that is the gag order that was issued to Trump. He had to keep his mouth shut about witnesses in the trial, jurors and lawyers. It didn’t work perfectly. He was fined a few thousand dollars for several violations.

So what I have decided to do is issue a series of comments that I believe would represent some verbal punches Trump would have thrown if he could.

Of course, if Trump gets elected in November and these giggles helped take him to victory, I want something in return. I would like to be secretary of state in the new administration. After watching Antony Blinken get us involved in a couple wars in Ukraine and the Middle East, I know that I could be just as inept. I can’t play a rock guitar like Blinken at a karaoke night in Kiev, but I could rock with a mean accordion in Tel Aviv.

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So here we go: Judge Merchan, gag on these.

Anybody who knows Trump knows that he would’ve had some spicy comments about Stormy Daniels, probably something like this: “After seeing Stormy Daniels in the courtroom, I think it’s time she change her porn name, because the years haven’t been too kind to her. Stormy looks more like ‘Storm-Damaged Daniels.'” Ba rump bump!

Of course, Trump’s chief nemesis was Michael Cohen. “Did you notice the people near Crooked Cohen when he raised his hand to take the oath. They all ducked for cover, figuring a lightning bolt was about to hit.”

I’m sure the trial judge would have received more than the remarks Trump has made about him outside the courtroom: “That judge Juan M. Merchan is so corrupt, his middle initial M. must stand for ‘mucho money.'” Ba rump bump!

Although Joe Biden has nothing to do with the trial other than being its author, Trump might as well take a shot at him when the cameras are running: “The other day Joe Biden told another lie as usual. He said that when he took over from me, the inflation rate was 9 percent. Well to set the record straight for Crooked Joe, it was 1.4 percent. So Joe, the 9 was not the inflation rate, that was your IQ when you took over – and now it’s down to 1.4.”

Just when the NYC fraud trial was becoming a dumpster fire for the Biden camp, a bit of news was made to divert attention from the flames. Biden and Trump have scheduled a debate for June 27. That announcement should have led to this haymaker from Trump: “I’d debate Crooked Joe this afternoon, tonight, tomorrow morning or whenever he isn’t taking a nap. But, his puppet masters need another month and a half to get Sleepy Joe ready just to remember his name.”

Finally, why not take a shot at the human word-salad while Trump has the spotlight in NYC. “I see where our esteemed Vice President Kamala Harris dropped the F-bomb on a TV interview the other day. Well, congratulations, Kamala, It almost took you four years but you did it. You finally lived up to the ‘vice’ part of your title.” Ba rump bump!

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