Well, he did it again. On the campaign trail in Pennsylvania, Joe Biden told another whopper of a story. This one involved an uncle in World War II.
His uncle “Bozey” Finnegan was flying a plane that crashed into the ocean near New Guinea. His uncle’s body was never recovered. Nephew “Bozo” wants us to believe that Bozey’s body was eaten by cannibals living on New Guinea. How that uncle’s dinnertime ending enhances Biden as our next president, only that tangled network of biplane wreckage inside Biden’s skull knows.
At least Biden’s make-believe family history has led me to wonder about cannibal dinner parties and America’s elite political figures.
Let’s say that a plane carrying a load of Washington’s dignitaries, including Joe Biden, plowed into a New Guinea mountain. His body and others ended up in a cannibal kitchen. What culinary goodies would be whipped up by the cannibal chefs?
America’s current political party in power is destroying the America we once knew. You know the party. It’s the one who’s leader promised us hope and change a few years ago. We’re certainly getting the change and hoping for no more of their kind. It’s the party that loves change: gender-style. You know the party, the one that’s giving our resources to “newcomers.” The one ignoring the Constitution big-time and censoring the opposition.
What if prominent American prime chops end up on a mountainside in New Guinea? If there are still cannibals there, how could they resist the windfall?
The first recipe the tribe would follow is the one for cooking bull. That would be fitting for everybody found in the wreckage. The leader of the cannibals tells his chief of chefs: “This is Joe Biden. He’s the champion of freedom in the world, so he will be our appetizer. Get out the recipe for worm-infested squirrel brains.”
For the main courses they will depend on the obvious recipe in preparing each and every subject.
Following the proper protocol of serving Joe Biden first, Vice President Kamala Harris would be the second course in the Democratic feast. Therefore, chief chef Raoul will use the tribe’s recipe for hyena and donkey.
The third course will be a San Francisco treat: the one and only Nancy Pelosi. “Look up the recipe for porcupine, though this one’s going to take awhile. The first order of preparation will be to remove a whole lot of plastic that has piled up over the decades.”
Following Nancy would be the peacock and snake recipe, for Gavin Newsom.
Another California treat found is Adam Schiff. The recipe to suit him will be weasel.
When Hillary’s found, the boss chef decides to toss her out. Pure poison.
The search party will be celebrating with high fives when they find former Congressman Jerry Nadler. ” Hey, chef, pull out my grandfather’s recipe book. Look up brontosaurus.”
That all-you-can-eat buffet main dish of Nadler would take days to finish. It would provide sustenance for all of New Guinea and the surrounding islands.
Following the orgy of democracy-defending D.C. delicacies, the U.N. would have to declare a climate emergency due to exorbitant levels of methane emissions coming from the south Pacific. Another medical emergency declaration would be needed to provide for thousands of flights from around the world bringing in heaps of Zantac.
Oops. I nearly forgot the dessert. The pièce de résistance is Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio Cortez. Get your forks and spoons ready for the cannibal version of fluffernutter.
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