Father’s Day is really about mothers

Amidst the gifts of new ties, wallets, bathrobes and other silly offering fathers will be opening on Sunday morning, there will be a lot of children who won’t have the chance to give their dads a present on Father’s Day. That’s because dad isn’t in the home.

We’ve all heard the statistics: Children growing up without dads are more likely to live in poverty, abuse drugs and alcohol, engage in early sexual activity, commit more crime, get less education, blah blah blah.

These stats are all, sadly, true. What’s less examined is why fatherlessness happens to begin with.

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Let’s put aside the irresponsible cads who just love’em and leave’em, the kind of men who sleep with endless women and don’t care how many children are sowed in their wake. There are many men like this (just as there are many women who allow it), but they aren’t the topic of this column.

Instead I want to look at the attitude toward fathers in our current modern society. Let’s start by backing up a few years.

When our daughters were very young, they loved the Berenstain Bears series of children’s books. We would check them out of the library by the armful. But as we read more and more of the series, a theme started to emerge. When she was about five years old, our daughter articulated it quite well: “Why does Mama Bear always think Papa is dumb?”

It was true. In story after story, Mama was always right; and good honest hardworking Papa was a monumental dunce. I seized on our daughter’s question to explain Papa Bear’s good qualities, and how Mama Bear shouldn’t treat him the way she did. I recall it was one of our first discussions on the valuable role a dad plays in a child’s life.

It’s not just the Berenstain Bears, of course. Popular culture has been bashing dads for decades. Very rarely do you see the man of the house portrayed as competent, authoritative and wise. A study of 12 TV sitcoms shows dads as “bumbling” and “incapable.”

“[C]hildren and youth watch a lot of television, and the ways fathers are depicted can both influence how they will think about themselves as future parents and reinforce what they already believe about family roles,” notes this article from a few years ago. “We are likely to watch things that match with what we think.”

For feminists, empowering women is all about emasculating men, which they do with alacrity except on Father’s Day, the one day a year when dads are abruptly portrayed as flawless and benevolent and are condescendingly offered ties, wallets and bathrobes. Somehow that one day of accolades is supposed to erase 364 days of bashing. Then on Monday morning, it’s back to normal. Gee, honey, that tie looks stupid with that shirt.

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Girls are steeped in this populist attitude toward men and internalize it during their formative years. Then they grow into women who think, well duh, all men are stupid, bumbling, and incompetent … therefore either (a) when I get married I’ll treat my husband that way; or (b) I won’t get married at all (fish and bicycles, doncha know) and have babies on my own. Who needs a man?

As it turns out, all kids need a man – preferably their father, either by birth or adoption.

That’s why Father’s Day is really about mothers. A father happens long before a baby is born. It happens when a woman meets a stranger’s eyes across a crowded room and a spark flies. What happens next is up to the woman. There are few decisions in life that will have a greater impact on her children.

The first mistake too many women make is having babies before getting married. Today about 4 out 10 children were born to unwed mothers. Nearly two-thirds were born to mothers under the age of 30. Today 1 in 5 children under the age of 18 – a total of about 15.7 million – are being raised without a father. Statistics have shown over and over and over that unwed motherhood is almost guaranteed to plunge a woman and her children into lifelong poverty.

But when a woman does get married, often she doesn’t look at the reality of what life will be like beyond the altar. This is, presumably, the man she wants to see across the breakfast table for the next fifty years. So why doesn’t she choose someone with compatible views on family, children, religion, money, life goals and other critical factors?

And, assuming she’s been fortunate enough to make vows with a man compatible in all those areas, why would she complicate her relationship with this treasured person by being difficult to live with? Why would she become nagging or critical or cold?

A well-chosen marriage partner is the most awesome blessing we can experience on earth. A huge number of societal problems we are currently experiencing would cease to exist if only women would think about how they treat their husbands.

Too many fathers aren’t involved in their children’s lives because they’re forced out by women. Unless they’re absolute cads (and of course, some are), very few men abandon their children willingly. Instead, feminist-tilted court systems force men out of the home and out of their children’s lives, yet capture their wealth for decades to come. And this is called progress?

Therefore I will drop the ball firmly in the court of women. Ladies, you’re the ones who control your own procreation. It’s up to you to “choose wisely, treat kindly” when you select a man to father your children.

And to all the married women out there, I want you to try a little experiment. Try, just try to wrap your minds around the notion that men aren’t bumbling idiots. Since you chose to marry a man, your husband should be treated with respect, affection, and admiration. This means you don’t nag, you don’t criticize and you never talk trash about him to your girlfriends. And it means your children must be taught their dad is to be respected as a figure of authority in their lives.

If you ask dads what they might want for Father’s Day, I’m willing to bet most would say, “To be with my family. To not be criticized. To be admired as competent and intelligent.” That’s why I say Father’s Day is really about mothers, because mothers determine whether those gifts are given.

So here’s a novel concept: give him what he wants for Father’s Day. Affection. Love. Respect. You just might discover that these are the kinds of gifts that get returned ten-fold.

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Content created by the WND News Center is available for re-publication without charge to any eligible news publisher that can provide a large audience. For licensing opportunities of our original content, please contact [email protected].

This article was originally published by the WND News Center.

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