There was another tender moment on TV the other day that you may have missed. Well, that description may be a bit of a stretch. It also bordered on tender and vomitous. Drew Barrymore was drooling all over Kamala Harris on a couch moment of historic significance.
We were privileged to discover that Kamala is known to her two stepdaughters not as a step-mom but as Momala. Drew was extremely taken with that intimate information. She took that cue to say that we all need hugs from a mom, and she encouraged Kamala to become America’s Momala. There was wild applause from the audience as the two held hands that relegated God’s touching Adam on the Sistine Chapel ceiling to second place.
And I witnessed the coronation of our American democracy’s first Momala.
So what is Momala going to do with her crown and new responsibility? I suggest morning devotionals where she can hug us with her words and thoughts. You know, something like this:
Good morning, my children. It’s the beginning of a new week and this is Momala to set you on your way today. I wanted to send you my Momala love before you go to school or to work in our booming economy provided for you by President Joe Biden. The president loves all of you and works real hard from 1 p.m. to 2 p.m. every day just for you. And I am there right by his side defending democracy, which we all love. We will never waver from our dedication to America’s Democrat Party freedoms, except in some cases where people are real bad.
I’m extending my hugs to all of your right now. Presiding over the stupid old Senate can wait. And then I’m going to watch some of the Trump trial. Tee hee. Have a good day.
I’m back (cackle, cackle). Hello, my children, on this Tuesday morning, which is almost hump day (cackle). I find that word to be so funny – but I do love hump day. It reminds me of a camel, which is one of my favorite animals. Isn’t our brain fascinating? How one thing like a hump reminds me of a camel and the camel reminds me of deserts, and then I think of Israel and their war with the Palominos and on and on it goes from one idea to another (cackle).
I know that I ‘m not officially the Momala of Israel and Palamine, but I want to throw out my Momala love to all of you. Come on, people, as Rodney Queen used to say, “Can’t we all just get along?” Just hug one another as I’m putting out my arms to hug all of you Americans, Jews, Palominos, whatever. We’re all the same, basically. We all want a mommy to hug, and so on. Stop the fighting and let’s have big hug!
Now I’m off to work with President Biden to defend our precious democracy, and don’t you let that Donald Trump ruin things.
On Wednesday this will be her message:
Good morning, you sleepy heads. This is Momala . Wake up, it’ time for you to defend democracy along with me. It’s hump day. I loved it especially when I was on a yellow school bus heading to school on hump day. We always had a special treat from our teacher Mrs. Johnson on hump day. We got to erase the blackboard. And this morning I’m here to help your erase all the cobwebs from your sleepy heads. President Biden wanted me to share this special news for Momala’s kids.
He’s working real hard to bring down the price of eggs so you can have a hearty breakfast, while the price of Trump’s fines keep going up for breaking his gag order (cackle, cackle). Isn’t that great news to start your day? He should wear a gag all the time so we can’t hear his hateful remarks to people like your Momala.
So on that note, off you go – and enjoy your eggs (cackle).
And just think how exciting this is going to be. Soon, you’ll be having Palomino refugees living next door to you!
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