If you’ve ever wondered what students who majored in Gender Studies and minored in Patriarchal Oppression do for a living after they graduate from college, I think I’ve discovered the answer: They become advice columnists for uber-liberal websites.
Consider this gem coming off the liberal rag Slate entitled: “My Daughter’s Personality Has Taken a Very Concerning Turn Thanks to TikTok: I really don’t want her going down this path.”
A distraught mother wrote about the dark path her 16-year-old daughter was taking and the horrific thing her child suddenly wanted to become … a housewife.
“I have a 16-year-old daughter, ‘Rachel,’ who has always been a go-getter,” began the mother. “She’s smart and personable and has always had big plans for the future, such as college and an eventual career in high-level nursing. Like most teenagers, Rachel uses social media (mainly TikTok and Instagram). Although her father and I have regulations about its use, and we loosely monitor what she’s consuming, we trust her to be responsible. Now, I’m wondering if I did something wrong.
“Recently, Rachel’s goals have done a 180. She used to be excited about the prospect of college, getting a degree, and eventually moving to her dream city, but now, all she talks about is dropping out of high school (right now!) and finding a ‘nice rich man’ to take care of her. She wants to focus on maintaining her appearance and learning housewife skills for said future man. She can’t wait to be able to sit at home all day and make quilts and homemade butter while homeschooling her children. She’s now talking about how great the ‘patriarchy’ is and how she can’t wait for someone to come and take care of her. When I learned more about where this was coming from, I found out that Rachel had been spending almost all of her social media time looking at tradwife accounts – pages that glorify being a SAHM and turn it into some sort of cottagecore patriarchal fantasy.
“For the record, I myself am a SAHM. I’m not looking down on women who choose homemaking as a career. That’s what I did! What I am is deeply concerned that Rachel is not actually in love with the idea of becoming a wife and mother; she likes the idea of being taken care of by a man, and she’s going to put herself in a situation that could turn abusive. I’ve tried to have conversations with her about the dangers of relying on a man and what being a SAHM actually looks like, but it goes in one ear and out the other. Rachel is serious about dropping out of high school to focus on her future as a tradwife. She has already been letting her grades slip, and she has told her dad and me that she no longer plans to go to college because ‘real men don’t need some educated feminist woman.’ I’m so scared for her. We’ve already taken her off social media and put her into therapy, but it seems to have had no effect so far. Any advice would be appreciated.”
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First, as the mother of two now-adult daughters, let me assure this distressed woman that trends teens obsess about when they’re 16 don’t last unless the parents cement it for them. By “cement,” I mean either acting on the teens’ whims with such enthusiasm that the decision becomes permanent long after the teen outgrows it (i.e. transgenderism), or objecting so strongly (therapy? for wanting to be a stay-at-home mom like her own mother?) that the teen digs in her heels and doubles down just to assert her independence.
Teenagers are still too young to understand the long-term consequences of their actions, which is why parents must limit any life-altering decisions (such as dropping out of high school or chopping off body parts). Beyond that, however, it’s often best to just let the phase run its course.
So if Rachel’s mother would just stop badgering her kid, this tradwife obsession would likely fizzle out as other interests take its place. The only requirements, of course, are the child should not be permitted to drop out of school and must keep her grades up.
For the record, I have mixed feelings about the tradwife movement, in large part because extremes of any kind are concerning. However the reason behind its growing popularity seems to escape most feminists: It’s simply a pushback against the extremes of feminism. Many young women are fed up with the constant hate and anger associated with feminism, and are cultivating the polar opposite.
With that in mind, let’s read the advice columnist’s response. Keep in mind the columnist, Jamilah Lemieux, is an “activist” and “cultural critic” who is “one of the leading voices of her generation on issues of race, gender and sexuality.” Her specialty, it seems, is “progressive parenting,” and she goes absolutely flippin’ BONKERS at the thought of a teen girl wanting to become a housewife. (Response edited slightly for brevity.)
This was Lemieux’ response to the distraught mother: “Keep Rachel off of social media … and in therapy. These things may not have taken hold yet, but hopefully, they will be helpful in the long term. Let her know that as long as she’s in your home, she has no choice to take school seriously. Until her grades improve, she shouldn’t be allowed to hang out with friends or talk on the phone. Sign her up for tutoring and make her stick with it until things turn around. Explain to her that in contemporary society, there are very few men (and even fewer rich ones) looking to take care of a woman who doesn’t have a high school diploma and that the tradwife lifestyle she so covets often comes with a loss of personal freedom. Ask her how she’d feel if her partner wouldn’t let her talk to her family or friends or prevented her from having hobbies and interests of her own. Let her know that it’s okay to want someone to be a protector and provider, but that a quality man is going to want a woman who has more to her than her ability to bake bread and rear children. Inform her that many SAHM meet their husbands in college, and that part of what makes these women intriguing to their partners is their education and worldliness.
“Introduce your daughter to some accessible feminist texts that will help her to better understand how patriarchy truly impacts the lives of women. If you can’t get her to read them on her own, read them to her at the dinner table. Bell Hooks’ ‘Feminism Is for Everybody’ and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s ‘We Should All Be Feminists’ are easy to read and dispel the myth of feminism being some sort of cult for man-hating women. Talk about how feminism has improved the quality of life for women; explain to her that there was a time in this country when men could legally rape their wives, when women could not vote or get a checking account or divorce an abusive partner. Keep these conversations going on a daily basis, talk about feminism until you are blue in the face, for you literally have to deprogram your daughter. Also, check in with her friends’ parents and see if this tradwife thing is limited to Rachel, or if other girls have been indoctrinated by TikTok as well.”
Phew. Can you imagine poor Rachel’s response to this kind of frantic feminist badgering by her parents? The poor kid is likely to run away and marry the first guy she meets, who might indeed become abusive – because, let’s face it, at 16 she doesn’t have the maturity to choose a balanced life-mate.
This, folks, is a naked glimpse into the insanity of the far left. If conservative parents followed this advice on a 16-year-old child who decided she was transgender, they would be arrested for abuse.
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